Hey Mickey!

Mickey is certainly fine. In fact, he so fine he blow my mind. However, Stacy's mom has really got it going on. Mickey may take me by the heart when he takes me by the hand, but Stacy's mom could use a guy like me.

I'm torn.


Is there a culture in which people exchange IQ numbers upon meeting, and the one with the lower number must lick the other person's shoes clean? Because I could go for that.


"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?"
"I'm here."
"Idiot! That's not what wherefore means."
"But I-"
"No! We are through! It's over!"
"Juliet, I- Ow! Was that your shoe?"
"I have plenty more. My daddy's rich."
"You just through your shoe at me!"
"Thanks for noticing. Now where did I put... Nurse! Bring me my stilettos!"
"You have knives?"
"You are dense, aren't you? Oh, thanks. Tell daddy there's a filthy Montague in the garden. Here you go, Romeo."
"Ah! You have actual stilettos in your shoes?"
"Daddy always said that boys needed to be reminded of their place. No one touches this angel."
"I thought this was about grammar and- Ah! It's in my eye!"

For never was a story of more woe
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.


There's a reason I will never use drugs. From Whence it Came may very well be that reason.


It just struck me that Mickey is also so pretty. Stacy's mom can't compete.

Though I could tell she liked me from the way she stared...

Forget it. I'm going for Jessie's girl instead. She's got those eyes, and that body. I mean, a woman like that, I just want to tell her I love her. I wish I had Jessie's girl.


You just lost The Game.

I just lost The Game.


"Oh true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus, with a shoe, I die."
"O happy dagger! That is thy sheath, there rest, and make him die!"

Is it a sin to rewrite Shakespeare's-
Yes.