How Many on the Mendeleev Scale?

After a single metric eternity (which is to say 3.14159 Imperial eternities, or 2i English eternities) I finally posted on BTL. I must confess to feeling a bit threatened. Met has begun posting (my thing) regular content (my thing) in the form of a story (mine) with no visible end (agh!). Now he's started talk of a BTL of his own. The voices in my head don't like that. They want me to keep my spot as main contributor and chief madman. The former is in jeopardy. For the first time in recent memory, the front page is less than 50% my work. I'm ashamed.


Да! Нет! Водка!

Which is to say, whether the answer is Да or Нет, the best response is Водка!


Cthulhu haunts my thoughts, Nyarlathotep my dreams, and Azathoth the daemoniacal aether between.

Nyarlathotep! [Middle Egyptian singing]! Nyarlathotep! [Again]!


I propose we end the discrimination. Numbers are runes too, and should be treated as such. They deserve equal rights. I have a dream that we will one day be able to remind people to capitalize their ones. I have a dream that the best mathematicians will write numerical equations entirely in cursive. I have a dream that one day, numbers and letters can meet to plague schoolchildren in new, horrific ways.


Yes, I know the lyrics to Dragostea Din Tei (Numa Numa).

Yes, I know the lyrics to Caramelldansen.

Yes, I know the lyrics to Re Your Brains in French.

Also? American Sign Language.


Answer the title of the post for me.


The above will suffice. This post is now complete.


I lied. You should know I beat a game of Minesweeper today. On expert. That is no mean feat.

Hey Mickey!

Mickey is certainly fine. In fact, he so fine he blow my mind. However, Stacy's mom has really got it going on. Mickey may take me by the heart when he takes me by the hand, but Stacy's mom could use a guy like me.

I'm torn.


Is there a culture in which people exchange IQ numbers upon meeting, and the one with the lower number must lick the other person's shoes clean? Because I could go for that.


"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?"
"I'm here."
"Idiot! That's not what wherefore means."
"But I-"
"No! We are through! It's over!"
"Juliet, I- Ow! Was that your shoe?"
"I have plenty more. My daddy's rich."
"You just through your shoe at me!"
"Thanks for noticing. Now where did I put... Nurse! Bring me my stilettos!"
"You have knives?"
"You are dense, aren't you? Oh, thanks. Tell daddy there's a filthy Montague in the garden. Here you go, Romeo."
"Ah! You have actual stilettos in your shoes?"
"Daddy always said that boys needed to be reminded of their place. No one touches this angel."
"I thought this was about grammar and- Ah! It's in my eye!"

For never was a story of more woe
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.


There's a reason I will never use drugs. From Whence it Came may very well be that reason.


It just struck me that Mickey is also so pretty. Stacy's mom can't compete.

Though I could tell she liked me from the way she stared...

Forget it. I'm going for Jessie's girl instead. She's got those eyes, and that body. I mean, a woman like that, I just want to tell her I love her. I wish I had Jessie's girl.


You just lost The Game.

I just lost The Game.


"Oh true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus, with a shoe, I die."
"O happy dagger! That is thy sheath, there rest, and make him die!"

Is it a sin to rewrite Shakespeare's-
Yes.

A Tale

"How are you today?"

"Lugubrious."

"What?"

"Also? Peckish."

"I see."

"You can aid me on both accounts, though."

"I have no food, sorry."

"No matter, come here."

"This is less than ideal."

"For you."

...

"I nearly forgot to ask how you are as well."

"Disquieted."

...

"I'm sure you were. Also? Delicious."

La Luz del Demonios

25/124 is about a fifth. 25/125 is a fifth. My FreeCell record win streak is 124. This means I am a fifth of the way to surpassing it. When do I accomplish this you ask? When I should be writing the Apocalypse.

26 now.



I write in a more sophisticated tongue than many people (read: everyone I know). What irks me are those who utilize language they fail to grasp. Example:
Nagreo: sup?
Reogan: I'm wasting my life away with FreeCell, as is my wont.
Nagreo: ROTFLOL!!!!!!11!! 1! 1 111
Reogan: Why do you abuse language so?
Nagreo: i abuse language as is my want

According to the omniscient Wiktionary, wont is archaic. I find this delightful. As is my wont.


Tea is a good thing. Without it, the world's depravity would wash away the last bastions of civilization. With it, depravity is too distracted by drinking it to bother with those bastions. The bastions are saved. A bastion saved is a bastion earned.

I pity Arthur Dent. When I drink tea, I expect it to be, at worst, a substance almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a substance almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

That was written as it was intended to be. If you don't understand it, please turn in your towel.


When in doubt, kill off every character.

This applies in stories too.


I don't speak Latin, and I have no knowledge of the grammar, but I know a good deal of words in it. Currently Daemon Lux is running about my mind.


27


1337 is nothing but a particularly popular flag behind which the forces of Degradation move against language.

'Txt Talk,' as I recently heard it said, is a particularly disgusting subset of 1337.


The Giving Tree is about Yggdrasil. It's a eco-friendly book, because it claims we broke the worlds. Who needs Níðhöggr when humans exist?